Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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