I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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