just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
