she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
