By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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