dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
