I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
