remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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