I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
