apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
