found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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