a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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