I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
