I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
