I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
