Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
