at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
