What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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