I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
