It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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