Umm I'm too high to move.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
