i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
