I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
