i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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