how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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