party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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