i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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