New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Everyone says I win the strip club
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
