Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
