even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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