I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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