How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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