the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
