After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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