i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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