What a fucking waste of an outfit
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
