well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
