cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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