Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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