it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
We named our party play list daddy issues
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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