So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Randomize
