Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
