ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
No subtext here. People are naked.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
