My Higher Power is John Stamos
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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