im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
