Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
