Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
