I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
