WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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