dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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