I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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