this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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