my mouth tastes like poor choices
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
